Marriage

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OK so..' then he sips a lump of his coffee. His eyes gaze at mine, ominously but still glaring a smile. A forced smile, actually.

'What is it..?' I obviously can smell the burn of a little fire starting. This musn't be good. I remember that stare! The stare he gave to me many years ago every time I made a teeny weeny trouble and he found out. The stare that makes me feel like I'm a five year old girl in her piggy-tail hairdo, it brings my eyes kind of teary and frightened. The stare tells me, 'I've done something not right.'

He's implacable. In fact, he looks quite scary. Before I have the guts to look back into his eyes, he opens his mouth, I galvanized at the moment. He's starting to fire back at me,

'Do you think you love him?'

God, a head shot. I twist the ring of diamond strands round and round my right-hand finger. Do I love him? ..What is love, I ask myself. How should I define 'love', anyway? How should I convince myself, I LOVE him? It's supposed to be a question that should've been easily and quickly answered by a 26-year-old lady who is getting married by the next 3 days.


But why can't I?

4th July 2013 

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