A Quest: Puzzling the Heartbreak
This
will be another encouragement letter shouting out to you, all of you with
those eye bags you cannot get rid of due to the endless crying, asking to yourself,
"Did I make a wrong decision?"
"Did I just make a mistake?"
"Should I text/call him?" --DON'T.
"Did I make a wrong decision?"
"Did I just make a mistake?"
"Should I text/call him?" --DON'T.
Writing
this one is also a challenge for me, well, no. Not the
writing, but the publishing. But then I think to myself 'what a selfish girl'
if I keep this thought zipped forever in my journal.
So here's,
to
you.
Who had just recently broke up, victims of hit and run kind of love, and the feeling of devastation is inevitable. I welcome you to my #breakupsurvivalkit, my thoughts during the apocalypse--at least that's how the world felt to me at that time.
----------
Chin up, you little lost sleepless souls. This is not the end of the world.
Repeat after me,
"this is not the end of the world."
Trust me, I've been there. Long, long time ago.
You
know what, I'm not gonna tell you shit to let go, move on, and start
again.
I'm not gonna remind you how precious you are and how you cannot let one
prick ruins your life.
I'm not
gonna ask you to get up that sad ass off the couch.
Why, you ask?
Because
I know. Because I have been there.
Because
I have no idea about the morning texts he used to send you paragraphs every
morning, because I have no clue about how you used to spend lazy Sundays with
him, because I do not know the way he held your hand in a crowded place,
so
I have no rights to tell you shit to
let go, move on, and start again.
Although yes, I will still remind you how precious you are and how you
cannot let one prick ruins your life, eventually.
But I will invite you to a quest, a searching of your missing puzzle
pieces.
Breaking
up with someone is never easy. But it will be worth it, especially if you
believe that 'everything happens for a reason.'
The
first two weeks will drive you crazy.
I
know you lost your appetite, because even pizza reminds you of how he used to
take you out on Saturday nights to the nearest pizza restaurant.
I know your eyes get all blurry while reading a book, because even your favorite thing to do in this whole world reminds you of how books connected his and your interest.
I know you can't sleep at night, that, reminds me of one phase where I cannot sleep because my thought is fully awake.
Yet the next morning I woke up with a dying soul, wishing to stay longer in my sleep where I was finally able to forget all the pain.
fase tidur dengan pikiran terbangun dan bangun dengan semangat yang tertidur.
I
know you stare too long at your smartphone, the hunger of waiting for a text
that will never ever come (you do know that
he's not going to text you, don't you?)
Stop
wanting to hear the juiciest update about him, stop scrolling down your screen
and 'accidentally' stopped by on his Instagram feed.
However,
(preferably) sooner or later, you'll find those missing puzzle pieces
that you've been looking for, but you never found one.
You'll
find the first piece slipped in your pink sofa, —that's your confidence.
Another
piece found inside your most worn pair of jeans' left pocket, —that's your bravery.
Found
another again inside your black laptop case, —that one is your curiosity and
creativity.
You
haven't find it all, indeed.
Yet
with that glimpse of faith you hold and as your eyes started to open, the next
days of yours will be full of stumbling upon the missing puzzle pieces.
To
your surprise, you'll find them in places you never thought, because back then
you were too blinded to see clearly.
Remember this, why would you waste your precious day to grieve over somebody? Well, I never forbid myself to grieve, it's a part of human nature to
overcome a trauma, but I do not let it consume me.
Allow
yourself to grieve, but don't let it consume you.
In
the end, throw away all your negativity. Grow up, princess. Put relationship to
the very bottom of your priority list. Accept that he's a past, a past that you
can't take back.
Have anyone told you that you're very brave to finally put this damaging relationship to an end? Why why what a super girl.You finally realized that you're too good to be a sidekick, I knew it! Now, focus on finding those missing puzzle pieces. Every piece you collect will help you to improve becoming a better woman. An intelligent, open-minded, brave, leading, cheerful, respectful, beautiful woman like you've always dreamed of.
Oh,
look. Another piece, —that's your adorable smile, found lying
exactly next to your favorite perfume. How can you never see it there?
Dear dear, enjoy the searching until you find your very last missing puzzle piece. I would say, the quest will be over only if you have found these three puzzle pieces in order: forgiveness, acceptance, and happiness.
The quest; it's all phases to happiness. Find your own calling, avoid the things that make you sad. Don't be angry all the time. Forgiveness is the key to let go, acceptance is the key to move on. Then, happiness will follow.
Anyway
why wouldn't you, instead, use the energy to find another missing puzzle
pieces?
Cheers,
to the afterthoughts of a post heartbreak.
P.S: good luck finding the puzzles!
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